This adoption is a mess.

We decided to adopt in January of 2006. We had always wanted three children and after 2 months of bedrest with our second, we decided international adoption was the way to go.

After looking at several countries we decided on Guatemala. We signed with an agency in March and accepted a referral of a beautiful little girl in July. We visited her in November and have been waiting patiently for her to come home.

It's July...a year later...she's 1 and there's no end in sight. Someone isn't being truthful with us...whether it's the agency, attorney or facilitator who knows. I sent a rather terse email this morning to the agency asking them to please confirm our status. We'll see where that gets us.

I don't know how people who don't have children at home do this. I have three kids at home (ages 5,3 and 3 months) and it still doesn't keep me from constantly worrying about our daughter in Guatemala. Yes...you read that correctly....I got pregnant on accident last August. I spent 4 months on bedrest this time...but it all worked out.

I can't beileve I used to say "Why don't people just adopt"....18 months into this process...and there is no "just" about it.